The thing that sucks is that I will always remember you. I’m always going to think back and remember that face, the way I felt, the way everything seemed so perfect and for that moment.. It was. I know I can’t call this feeling love, but if I had to say it I would say that this was pretty close. You were a big step in my life, something everyone goes through but yet it seems like no one really understands how you feel. It hurts and it really sucks that I feel this way, but I’m okay.. And one day I won’t wake up thinking about you, I won’t have dreams about you, and I won’t wonder why you left.. I know I’ll find someone better than you.
I can’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt because it really does. I only knew you for a month, you were my “boyfriend” for a week.. How did I get so attached to you? Is it because I gave you something I never gave anyone else? or is it because I honestly thought I had something with you, something I haven’t felt in awhile. Maybe, I just fell too hard way too fast. I put down those walls I’ve had up for years and now I finally let someone in and they just hurt me, and honestly I don’t even think he cares. I should really stop feeling sorry for myself, but I just thought you were better than this. I hoped that you were different but what can I say? I was just too naive to open my eyes and see who you really were. Everyone else could see it, why couldn’t I? I should have known, I should never let you in but I did.. and now that’s something I have to live with. Did I do something to deserve this? Maybe it’s karma for all the times I’ve hurt other people. I really don’t know, I just don’t know anything anymore. It’s okay, time heals all wounds. One day, I won’t check your instagram anymore or wonder how you’re doing or wonder who you have found to replace me. You moved on with your life, and I will too..
I always make myself seem like something I’m not in front of people. I always make it seem like I’m that girl that doesn’t care about anyone or anything and nothing can affect her in anyway, but in reality I just put this wall up and I don’t put it down because I’m so afraid of getting hurt. One time I really did put that wall down and I let this person in and it was such a big mistake, I got hurt more than anyone would ever know. It was like knowing that you tried your complete best at something but yet it was just never enough. That’s why I don’t open up my heart to people easily, I’m so sensitive and I’m always afraid. That’s why it’s kind of hard for me to be in a relationship, I constantly over think and it feels like I’m sort of waiting for that person to do something wrong or wait for them to hurt me.. I really don’t know what to do. I’m starting to really like this guy and I’m just wondering if he is actually worth it. I guess I won’t know until I find out, I hope you are everything I see in you right now..